Joy of My Joy
by GirlLoveWarrior
Summary: Arthur and Merlin finally get to meet their child. Sequel to "For Us Both" and "I Hope It Has Your Ears." [warning: mpreg and nongraphic childbirth]


Arthur knew it was inevitable, yet it was still a shock to his system when the time finally arrived. When Gaius stopped poking and prodding at Merlin's stomach and met his eyes, nodded his head. Suddenly nine months didn't feel nearly long enough to prepare.

"The baby is ready to be born, sires," Gaius said calmly.

Merlin's huge eyes turned from Gaius to Arthur, surprise and delight and anxiety all rippling across his open features. Arthur had known all along that when the time came Merlin would handle this better than he would, and he didn't disappoint.

"That is fantastic!" he said, looking like he would bounce on the examination table if he could. He grinned down at his stomach and pet it affectionately. "Not long now, little one. You'll have a much bigger room soon."

Arthur watched the scene with his arms crossed over his chest and his jaw clenched, but he couldn't keep his eyes from softening at Merlin's unabashed cooing to his belly. Merlin had always had enough love and optimism for the both of them.

He sat beside Merlin on the table and kissed his cheek, placed his own hand over Merlin's stomach. It was massive. Arthur wasn't entirely convinced Merlin wouldn't give birth to a litter of puppies or a baby dragon. It wouldn't be the strangest thing he'd witnessed.

"How long to prepare?" He asked Gaius.

They had everything planned down to the smallest details, details Arthur made sure to know the extent of. He trusted Gaius with Merlin's life but wanted to be informed of everything pertaining to before, during and after the procedure. Magic was a force beyond his control but he wanted everything within his control to be perfect. He could give nothing more and Merlin deserved nothing less.

"I can be ready by sundown, sire," Gaius said. "I will summon Fabien immediately and he will help me boil the instruments. The linens are already prepared. The rest," he said with an eyebrow arch, "is left to Merlin."

Merlin offered a small smile and held Arthur's gaze.

"We're ready," he said simply.

Arthur could only swallow and nod. He felt everything but ready.

* * *

Fabien had taken Merlin's place as Gaius' assistant after Arthur claimed Merlin for himself. Arthur suppressed a hysterical laugh as he watched the young man effortlessly thread a surgical needle while keeping an eye on the instruments soaking in boiling water over the hearth. He had seen him work, confident and steady, amongst his injured knights. Clearly the young man possessed a natural talent for medicine that had eluded Merlin, despite his best efforts.

Merlin seemed to have similar thoughts, smiling wryly from his mountain of clean sheets, blankets and pillows. Gaius and Fabien had converted a section of Gaius's chambers into a "birthing nest," as Merlin called it, placing a bed in the main room that was small enough for people to move freely around but large enough for two people to rest on comfortably.

It's where they lay now, Merlin reclined back into the pillows and Arthur pressed in close beside him, his arm securely around Merlin's bare shoulders. Finally Gaius approached them with a solemn expression, a familiar spellbook in his arms.

"Are we ready to begin?" he asked.

Merlin turned his face to Arthur's and smiled bravely, cupping Arthur's jaw to sooth away the panic that must've been obvious. Arthur was sure Merlin could hear his heart pounding. Not even the first charge into his first battle had struck such fear into him.

Merlin shifted so he could kiss him softly. "I love you, and everything is going to be brilliant," he murmured, carding through Arthur's hair. "Let's meet our child."

Arthur exhaled and moved into Merlin's touch, kissing his palm with reverence before extracting himself from the bed. He sat in a chair beside the bed on the opposite side of Gaius and Fabien. He nodded at them with as much determination as he could muster. Merlin needed him to be calm and in control on the outside even if he was splintering apart on the inside.

Gaius returned the nod with a compassionate look. He handed the spellbook to Merlin, who opened it to the marked page and propped it up against his belly to review it for a final time. Gaius bit back a smile and Fabien chuckled.

"Won't be able to do that anymore after this," Fabien teased.

Merlin grinned at him. "I say it's a fair trade."

Arthur cleared his throat and Merlin winked at him.

"Remember, Merlin," Gaius said. "You must focus on Arthur and only Arthur until we are through, as we practiced. He is your anchor to the spell. As long as you focus on him you should not feel a thing and the bleeding will be controlled."

Merlin murmured his agreement and closed his eyes, his brow furrowed in concentration as he worked to clear his thoughts of everything but what needed to be done. Arthur took his hand and squeezed in encouragement. Merlin squeezed back and took a deep breath, visibly gathering himself.

He turned his head to the side and held Arthur's eyes with his own. Then he began to speak.

Arthur would never get completely used to hearing Merlin cast spells. The language was fluid yet forceful, as gentle and deadly as the magic it inflicted. He had heard Merlin scream down fire from the heavens and whisper pleasure over Arthur's sweat-slicked skin. No two spells were ever the same, never with the same intent. Now, lying prone and pregnant on a bed, Merlin seemed to be begging his magic. His breath hitched slightly, prompting Arthur to kiss his knuckles and grasp Merlin's hand in both of his, never once breaking their gaze even as Merlin's eyes flared with light.

Even when Merlin stopped chanting and his blue eyes remained consumed by molten gold, Arthur wouldn't look away. He could hear the rustling of fabric and see the glint of metal in the corner of his eye. He forced his breathing to remain steady, repressed the urge to knock the blade out of Gaius' hand. This was not a practice cut on an arm or hip. There was no going back from this.

"Arthur," Merlin breathed, a calm expression on his face. Arthur shifted closer so their faces were nearly touching. So Merlin could hear every word he spoke.

"Look at me, darling. Just keep looking at me. Before you know it you'll be holding our child in your arms and being a ridiculous sop and being the most gorgeous, stupid thing I've ever seen."

The sharp, coppery smell of blood, Merlin's blood, hit him like a mace. His eyes prickled with the desire to weep, or scream.

"Gods, Merlin, you are so, ridiculously brave. You're a complete idiot and I love you so much it drives me to the point of insanity. I've wanted you from the moment I first heard your voice and saw your face. You were such an idiot but a part of me already knew you were mine."

Arthur babbled every embarrassing confession that floated through his brain, anything that would keep that slight, fond smile on Merlin's face and that gold light in his eyes. Though his eyes blurred with tears that refused to stay unshed, in his peripheral vision he could see red and Merlin's body being moved slightly by Gaius' and Fabien's ministrations. They kept their voices low and even, presumably to not jolt Merlin from his concentration.

Arthur dropped kisses all over Merlin's face, ran a shaking hand through Merlin's hair, whispered endearments against his skin like he was casting his own spell. Merlin followed his eyes without ceasing and without verbal response, though a golden tear slid down his cheek before wetting his pillow. Arthur smiled wetly at him and pulled gently on his upturned ear.

"I suppose we'll finally see if our child inherited these beauties," he teased before wiping his nose on his sleeve.

Merlin blinked rapidly and before Arthur could say anything further Gaius addressed him quietly but firmly.

"Get ready, Arthur, you'll need to keep his attention when the baby cries."

Arthur nodded is response and cupped Merlin's face in both hands. "Merlin, my Merlin. You're almost there, you're doing so well. Just a little bit more, darling, then you can rest. And I'll be here with our child and it will be perfect, gods it will be so perfect, just please, Merlin..."

Arthur talked over the first cries of their child and got so close to Merlin's face they both went nearly cross-eyed. The cries grew quieter when Fabien carried the baby away to be bathed, and Arthur recognized the familiar motions in his periphery as Gaius sewed Merlin up in efficient strokes.

"You did it, Merlin," he gasped. He didn't even try to restrain the tears of relief as they fell. Merlin had earned every last one.

Merlin's golden eyes crinkled and he raised one hand to cover Arthur's, squeezing weakly. Arthur kissed his lips and parted from him just in time to see Gaius leaning over the bed and holding out a vial.

"Give him this, it'll make him sleep." His voice sounded bone weary and relieved.

Arthur took it and stood up, gently moving Merlin's face upright while Gaius dressed Merlin's wound.

"Take this, darling, and rest. I'll be here when you wake, I promise."

Merlin opened his lips and Arthur tipped the vial, kissing Merlin's forehead as he swallowed the sleeping draught. Merlin licked his lips and blinked dazedly at Arthur.

"Worth it," he breathed, a small smile on his lips.

His eyes slowly shut, like a door shutting on a brilliant sunrise. They didn't leave Arthur's until they closed.

When Merlin's breath slowed and evened out, Arthur murmured a prayer of thanks before rising and turning to Gaius. There were bloodstains on his tunic but his face held a proud, joyful smile. Fabien walked to Arthur, a little bundle held in his arms.

"You have a son, Your Majesty." He smiled happily and pressed close to Arthur, carefully transferring the wriggling bundle into his arms.

Arthur stared dumbly at the baby, the emotion in his chest so all-consuming it left him paralyzed.

"I have a son," he muttered, then huffed a laugh. "I have a son," he said more loudly, the joy and disbelief flooding through him like water through a broken dam.

He looked up at Gaius as if for confirmation. Gaius only smiled more widely.

"He appears perfectly healthy, sire. You and Merlin did well. What shall you name him?"

"Balin," Arthur said with a proud smile. "His name is Balin."

He and Merlin had discussed several names for a son or daughter, but looking down at his raven-haired child, Arthur knew the name was right. He wanted to honor Merlin's father in the way he should have been honored in life. While he had loved his own father, Balinor had accepted Merlin as his son instantly, no questions asked, in a way that Uther had never truly accepted Arthur despite a lifetime of trying. Balinor had saved Merlin's life and by extension Camelot, the kingdom they now ruled together. He knew Merlin would approve.

Arthur stared at his son and grinned hugely, holding his finger out for the infant to grasp. His skin was a perfect, healthy pink and his cheeks were rosy with color. A shock of black hair adorned his head above big, blue eyes that blinked curiously up at Arthur. Arthur ran a finger over a tiny ear that stuck out just a bit more than was probably normal. He was stunning. Absolutely perfect.

Arthur turned to Merlin's sleeping form. It was jarring to see his flat stomach underneath the bandages but his breath was deep and even. He would sleep for nearly three days, enough time to spare him the worst of the pain and allow his body to begin the long process of healing. It had taken Arthur weeks to convince him to sleep through their child's first hours, but ultimately he had given in for Arthur's sake.

Arthur sank onto the bed beside Merlin, leaning slowly back against the pillows and careful to not jostle Merlin or their son.

"Merlin," he whispered. "Look what we did."

He stroked his free hand through Merlin's hair. Merlin sighed in his sleep and turned into the touch, a picture of peace.

"The wet nurse shall be here shortly, sire," Gaius said. He was sitting on his own bed across the room and looking more tired than Arthur had ever seen him.

"You are, of course, welcome to stay here as long as you wish. I believe Merlin will only benefit from your presence."

"Thank you, Gaius," Arthur said quietly, tearing his gaze away from his son. He truly owed the elderly man more than he could ever repay, as miracles have no price. "Thank you for everything."

Gaius smiled in understanding and lay back on his bed. Fabien moved quietly around the room, stoking the fire and gathering supplies to be cleaned.

Arthur stroked his son's damp hair and breathed freely for the first time in nine months. He would take full advantage of Gaius' offer to remain with Merlin as much as he could before his duties to the kingdom called him away. On that little bed, with his son warm in his arms and Merlin sleeping soundly, safe, at his side, he was exactly where he needed to be.

* * *

Once Merlin healed enough to move freely, he took to fatherhood like Arthur had taken to fighting. It was natural, a force all its own that bubbled up from within. Although a small army of nannies and wet nurses were available at their word, Merlin was seldom seen without Balin sleeping in a shoulder sling against Merlin's chest, or held securely in one arm while Merlin wrote with a quill or gestured with the other.

Arthur ate it up like a starving man. He teased Merlin for his indulgence in their infant but they both knew Arthur loved nothing more than watching Merlin silently coo down at Balin during an otherwise stuffy meeting, or show him off proudly to knights, visiting druids and servants alike. Merlin's affectionate nature seemed to seep into the walls of the castle, making hard eyes soften and frowns quirk at the corners.

Arthur, for his part, found fatherhood simultaneously bewildering and something he desperately wanted to excel at. While his own father had largely left him in the care of nannies for as long as he could remember, Arthur made it a point to hold Balin as often as he could, which was not nearly often enough. In the morning he would collect his son from the wet nurse after his morning meal, kissing his sweet-smelling head and murmuring blessings against his round little cheek. In the evenings he would slowly pace their chambers with the infant as Merlin looked on fondly from their bed, a tired but content expression on his face.

And in the end, Arthur was gifted with Balin's first smile.

He had been sitting with Balin and Merlin on a bearskin rug, leaning over the infant and making a stuffed dragon fly over Balin's face while Merlin made quiet roaring sounds. He swooped the dragon down and Balin flailed his limbs and gurgled happily, blue eyes sparkling in his chubby face. Arthur grinned down at him and swooped the dragon down so it kissed Balin's cheek repeatedly. Balin blinked up at him and opened his mouth into a wide, gummy, lopsided smile.

Arthur was momentarily stunned until Merlin grabbed his shoulder.

"Arthur, he smiled! Did you see? He smiled at you."

Merlin laughed delightedly and kissed Arthur's cheek then bent down to kiss Balin's. Arthur couldn't help the embarrassingly high-pitched laugh that burst out of him as he looked down at his son, who was flailing harder than ever as he caught on that he had pleased his parents.

"He's brilliant!" Arthur exclaimed, scooping the baby into his arms and smacking a loud kiss on his belly.

* * *

The next evening Arthur quietly pushed open the door to Balin's nursery, which was adjacent to his and Merlin's chambers. Soft singing drifted from the direction of Balin's crib and Arthur instantly recognized Merlin's soothing baritone.

"Lullay, lullay, my tiny child

Too soon you'll know the world so wild

Yes all too soon, you will be grown

And I'll bide here, alone, alone"

Merlin sat by the crib, rocking it gently and smoothing his fingers through Balin's dark hair.

"Lullay my sweet one, my child lullay

For you shall run in meadows green

And sport with otters all in the stream

And you shall chase the dappled deer

And swim with salmon in waters clear"

Arthur walked slowly toward them, not wanting to disturb the perfect sight of his husband singing to their child, Balin's full lips pouting in sleep. He stood behind Merlin and rested a hand on his shoulder. Merlin smiled up at him briefly then turned back to their son.

"And when at last your course is run

Joy of my joy, my little one

Beneath the sky you'll stand alone

Flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone"

Arthur closed his eyes and squeezed Merlin's shoulder, letting Merlin's voice wash over him. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he would ever have this. A spouse and child, perhaps, but never this kind of joy. The kind that made him want to howl and weep and tear apart anything that threatened what he held dear.

Merlin finished the lullaby and kissed Balin's forehead, careful to not wake him. At that moment the overnight wet nurse walked into the room and they shuffled out silently, smiling at her in gratitude as they passed. She smiled back warmly before taking her place beside the crib, ready to tend to the little prince when he woke.

Arthur intertwined his fingers with Merlin's and lead him into their chambers, latching the door behind them and leading Merlin to their bed. He turned and began undressing Merlin, mindful of his stomach as he unlatched his belt. Merlin smiled at him softly as he unlaced Merlin's tunic then carefully pulled it over his head. The stitches on Merlin's stomach appeared purple in the dim room, the fire in the hearth flickering over his pale skin and making the healing wound show in stark relief. After two months the swelling had gone down completely, the healing process aided by Merlin's magic.

"Does it still hurt?" Arthur asked, running a thumb beside the neat line of stitching. Merlin shivered a little at his touch, his nipples pebbling against the open air.

"A little, when I lift something."

"And by 'something' you mean 'Balin,'" Arthur said with a wry smirk. He continued stroking over Merlin's stomach, careful to stay clear of the healing wound. Merlin rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Worth every ache," he murmured.

Arthur met his eyes, stunned by the beauty and bravery and devotion of the man standing before him. He would spend every day of the rest of his life striving to earn the devotion that had always been given so freely. He stepped close to Merlin and gently gripped his waist, pulling him in against him. Merlin rested his hands on Arthur's hips and closed his eyes. They stood like that, chest to chest, cheek to cheek, breathing each other in and swaying slightly while the fire crackled in the hearth. Despite the enormity of Merlin's power, it was a tangible thing between them- the possibility of what they could have lost. The possibility of 'what if.'

Arthur trailed barely-there kisses across Merlin's cheekbones and circled his thumbs around Merlin's sides.

"Come to bed," he whispered.

Merlin pulled away as if to fetch their nightclothes but Arthur gripped his wrist, pulled him back in.

"I'll keep you warm," he said with a slight raise of eyebrow, earning a smile and eye-roll in return.

"You better," Merlin said, removing his rest of his clothing. "If I freeze to death you'll have no one to magically clean Balin's nappies. Just imagine. The whole of Camelot, brought to the ground under the weight of soiled nappies."

Arthur frowned as he sat on the bed to remove his boots. "That is what servants are for, Merlin. If you hadn't been such a terrible one yourself you'd be aware of that."

Merlin grinned, settling in under the winter furs and blankets draped over their bed. He yawned and waved a hand dismissively.

"Lucky for you then none of your current servants are like me."

Arthur glanced up at him as he removed his smalls, suddenly feeling exposed inside and out.

"There is no one like you," he said quietly.

Merlin's smirk melted into something softer and he held out his hand.

"Come here."

His eyes twinkled in the dim light, and Arthur thought with confidence that he would never tire of seeing that reverent look on Merlin's face.

Arthur crawled under the blankets and Merlin immediately pulled him in close, an arm draped over his chest and kissing him chastely. Arthur cupped his jaw and sighed into the kiss, thumbing over Merlin's cheekbone without a thought. If he went blind tomorrow he would still know every ridge, every curve of Merlin's face. They kissed languidly, unhurried, and Arthur let his hand trail down Merlin's arm and onto his hip. They moved closer together, bodies pressed alongside each other, seeking closeness. Merlin turned on his side and slid a thigh over Arthur's. His hips shifted rhythmically and Arthur could feel his arousal, hot and hard, against his own hip.

"Touch me," Merlin whispered, his voice tinged with desperation.

He was not yet healed enough for them to have sex and he had not asked Arthur for any physical intimacy since the birth. Arthur had not asked, not wanting Merlin to feel any pressure. But at Merlin's raspy request he felt the lust he'd kept in check surging through his veins.

"Gods, yes," he growled, wrapping an arm around the back of Merlin's shoulders and shifting them further down the bed.

He pushed the blankets down to their thighs and moaned at the sight of Merlin's cock, already flushed crimson and straining, the glans mostly unsheathed. He tucked Merlin closer against him and shifted up onto an elbow. Merlin nuzzled against his neck and chest, mouthing wetly at his collarbones and hunching his hips up in need. Arthur licked his palm and grasped Merlin's erection firmly. Merlin whined high in his throat and pressed his face against Arthur's neck.

"Don't worry, darling," Arthur murmured against Merlin's forehead. "I'll take care of you."

He began to stroke firmly, pumping slowly at first then gradually increasing the speed as Merlin writhed and moaned in his arms.

"Arthur, gods," Merlin groaned, grimacing as if he was in pain. "Faster, please."

Arthur pursed his lips, desire warring with caution. If he was too rough...

"I don't want to hurt you," he said with a shake of his head.

Merlin huffed and thrust his hips upwards. "Oh, for the love of -"

He turned in Arthur's arms and grasped the vial under his pillow, pushing it into Arthur's hand.

"Your fingers," he said, lust-blown eyes daring Arthur to refuse.

Arthur shifted down slightly and poured oil messily over his fingers. Merlin had already begun pumping his own erection and opened his thighs, allowing Arthur to wriggle his hand in until he found what he was looking for. Merlin exhaled forcefully through his nose as Arthur applied pressure to his hole, holding Arthur's eyes with his own and parting his lips as Arthur pushed two fingers inside him.

"A-Arthur," he stuttered out, jerking himself faster.

Arthur pressed in close beside him and kissed along his flat stomach, over fading stretch marks, mouthing up to Merlin's nipples as his fingers thrust and curled inside Merlin's heat. He kissed over all the pale skin within reach as it tensed and shuddered from Merlin's ministrations.

"In your mouth, Arthur, your mouth," Merlin groaned in a strained voice, telling Arthur he was close.

Arthur quickly moved down the bed and hunched over Merlin's hips, flicking his tongue out to lick the precome off Merlin's swollen cock while curling his fingers further. Merlin cried out and Arthur sank his mouth over the head of Merlin's cock, catching the spurting come as Merlin pumped himself through it and groaned beneath him. Arthur hummed with pleasure as he felt every throb with his lips.

Merlin panted and stroked himself slowly through the aftershocks, hips still shifting with the force of his orgasm. Arthur pulled off and swallowed the warm fluid, holding Merlin's gaze as he licked his lips. He sat back on his knees and began stroking himself with the intent to come on Merlin's spent cock.

Merlin spread his legs further and tilted his hips up, pulling his cheeks apart with his hands.

"It's been so long, Arthur. I want you inside."

Arthur nearly choked at the sight of Merlin's gaping hole, opened and wanting. "I can't, Gaius said-"

"Just. At the end. Please."

Arthur whimpered and fell forward onto one arm, his body hovering over Merlin's as he jerked himself. Merlin hitched his hips obscenely and opened himself further. Arthur spread his own legs so the head of his cock touched Merlin's slick hole with every jerk of his wrist. He stared, enraptured, as his precome smeared around the pink rim.

"I'm gonna come," he shuddered, pressing his hips forward until the head of his cock squeezed into Merlin's hole. Merlin swiveled his hips minutely while Arthur stroked the shaft of his cock in tight little jerks.

"Merlin," he gasped, resisting the instinct to fuck all the way in as he emptied himself into Merlin, the shaft of his cock pulsing in his hand while the head spurted his come into Merlin's slick channel. Merlin's hole gripped his cockhead just so, milking every drop from him in its tight grip.

Arthur closed his eyes as he pulled out, holding himself gingerly and sinking back on his knees.

Merlin panted as if he had just come again, his hands still resting on his arse. He swallowed and sighed in contentment.

"Gods, that felt good," he breathed, shifting his limbs so he lay flat on the bed.

Arthur didn't respond. He was still catching his breath as he crawled up the bed and flopped down beside Merlin. Merlin whispered a spell and Arthur felt the blankets shift down beneath him, pulling themselves up and over their bodies. It was a spell Merlin had used a hundred times before. It had become one of Arthur's favorites.

"How do you feel?" Arthur asked. He rolled to his side and pushed the blankets down to Merlin's hips, inspecting him for any signs of damage.

Merlin looked down at himself and hummed, then also rolled onto his side so their faces were inches apart.

"I'm fine. Not made of glass, in case you hadn't noticed."

"I know," Arthur said, placing his hand over Merlin's between them. "You're much more fragile."

Merlin cocked an eyebrow. "This coming from a man who could be knocked out by an especially strong breeze?"

"I wasn't unconscious. I was napping," Arthur deadpanned.

Merlin laughed. "You're full of more shit than your stables."

Arthur squeezed his hand and grinned. "Again, Merlin, I have adequate servants now so my stables are not full of shit."

"So it's just you then."

"No! Merlin, I swear-" but Merlin had already shushed him with a smiling kiss, puffs of laughter coming through his nose. Arthur lost the will to argue, the fatigue from the day finally catching up with him.

When Merlin pulled back they blinked sleepily at each other, just enjoying the quiet and the comforting feeling of being alone together. Arthur stretched and burrowed further down into his pillow.

"You're a wonderful father, you know," Merlin said, all teasing gone from his voice. "I love watching you with Balin. You're so careful with him. So in awe, all the time, like everything he does is just the most brilliant thing."

Arthur felt himself blush but he wouldn't deny it. The love he felt for his son was blinding, as sharp and final as a blade.

"I'm only able to be this way because of you," he confessed quietly. "I probably would've been as cold to my child as my own father was to me, otherwise."

Merlin smiled at him like he was particularly dim and adorable. "Your heart is full of love, Arthur. I saw it from the beginning. I loved you for who you were, not for who I could turn you into. It is our destiny to be as we are, now."

Arthur had no response, could only reach out and stroke his fingers through Merlin's hair, shifting closer until their legs touched under the blankets.

"So does this mean we can have three more?" he murmured.

Merlin's pillow thrown over his face muffled Arthur's bark of laughter.


End file.
